White House: No Tax Dollars for Death Star

Whew. We just dodged a $852 quadrillion bullet.

The White House has posted a response (yes, it’s real) on its web site to a petition asking that the federal government “secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.” The petition, which garnered nearly 35,000 signatures, was posted on the White House petition site in November.

The short answer? No.

Paul Shawcross, chief of the White House Office of Management and Budget’s science and space branch, crafted the response which said that while “the Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense”, a plan to build a Death Star isn't in the works. He then offered a few reasons for not building a Death Star, including:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

The Death Star, officially called the DS-1 Orbital Battle Station, is a piece of fiction (so far) which appeared in the Star Wars movies. It was the main feature in the Galactic Empire‘s arsenal and was capable of destroying a planet with one shot of its super laser. If you remember your Star Wars history, you’ll recall that Princess Leia was helping the Rebel Alliance take out the Death Star. The Death Star destroys the Princess’ planet and Luke Skywalker eventually destroys it instead (hence Shawcross’ reference to the flaw). In a subsequent film, the Empire attempts to rebuild the station but is thwarted again.

Shawcross went on to note in his response that while we don’t have a Death Star, we do “have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.”

He concluded his response by encouraging Americans to pursue careers in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field.

Fiscal responsibility and a plug for math and science? I’d say he fielded that request better than most in Congress. May the force be with you, Paul.

 Kelly Phillips Erb - 01/12/2013

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